"and it;s all fair trade!"

Dear loud mouthed yuppies,

I've been listening to this tripe for far too long.

I live in the centre of yupieville Toronto and it's beginning to drive me insane.

I was walking on the danforth enjoying a nice crisp ale only to be bothered by someone yelling to their friends, "and it's all fair trade!"

I know that I may one day grow up to be what is considered a Young Urban Professional, or Yuppie, but in no fucking way will I be anything like these stereotype morons.

First of all, the FTO(fair trade org.) is a crock of shit. No one benefits from them, especially farmers, and no one ever will.

If you get the chance, please watch the documentary called Black Gold, a doc that follows the procedures of "fairly" traded coffee coming from Ethiopia, one of the "richest" coffee nations there is today.

And though I understand the want and need to declare everything as fairly traded, get your fucking head out of your own ass and realize that these words and others(like green, organic, and biodegradable) are just buzz words so that stupid consumers, like my yuppie chum on the danforth, will buy in to a more expensive and lucrative market ploy.

Second, if you are going to make these loud declarations, read in to it first before you state something you don't know. DO YOUR DAMNED RESEARCH. I mean for Christ's sake, you already blew your parents money on a university degree which you clearly do not deserve, but you had to do research for your paper's to back up a claim, so why not do it for this same reason?

It's common logic that even the stupidest of individuals can learn. If Joe the Plumber told you that a magic pill would make your penis the size of a watermelon, would you state that as truth?

OF COURSE NOT.

So why is it that everyone thinks that fair trade means it has been fairly traded without the supposed middle man to take away profits from the farmers?

DID YOU ASK THE FARMER IF IT WAS? ARE YOU A MEMBER OF THE FTO? DO YOU HAVE A MAGICAL TELEPATHY RAY SO YOU CAN PROVE THAT IT WAS FAIRLY TRADED?

It's not a fact and you can't prove it, so fuck off with your buzzwords and do your damned research you assholes.

Love,

Isosceles.